WHAT i wanna Say


ever since yesterday .. i know life is not gonna be the same again ...the day that i have most not wanting to happen is near.. i almost cried as i heard her spit out her bitter story.. its for the first time.. like a friend-to-friend conversation instead of a mother-and-daughter... 2 things she made me upset till now at this very moment...i have wrongly accused her for something for months but will not word out the topic..second shall be a secret kept forever in my heart ...(but i told S le ) i kept thinking.. i tot he was thoughtful enough to give me a pat on my shoulder or tap on my head and just say :"its ok de" even iif i nvr let out anything.. but then fairy god mother did not grant me this wish but played on it ...



i tried not to cry while working because when u are working... u work like an adult.. whimpering will just detoriate ur role...moreover it is Far Est plaza we are talking about .. i tolerate like hell.. i tell myself :"dun cry.. crying cause dehydration and i have to waste $ to buy water to replenish my body" .. by 4 .. i have already told S about it because i know she is always the one who undertsands me best (plus catherine =) ) .. i wana her to be with me to listen to my talking in person .. but she is also a normal human and needs to work ..so i decided not to bother her furthermore..


after work was like even worst for me.. i tried asking ppl out .. i looked through my phonebook in my cell.. i can call NONE.. S is working ...LK have stead already... C cant come out late.. K doesn't seemed to be in the mood to chat with me.. NONE when i am damn desperate.. first time that i felt helpless.. but i dun blame them la.. their not my things..i was actually wanted to drink beer and cry my heart out.. but......................i failed la.. gald to say .. my desperate attempt to prevent myself from crying was futile =)

jingxuan