i cried in the toilet while bathing today...its just once coz i reall cant stand it anymore... normally i would have called steph and spill the beans .. but today .. before i even dial her number ... i already cried..

"but what happen lei ?"

u might be asking .. because of a mixture of financial CUM family issues which end up with a DELUXE combo lol but i shall not say what happened.. all thanks to my NOT understanding mum.. dun crap with my NOW saying she is humorous and kind.. SHE ISN'T when her attitude changes!! u guys just din see it~!.. i din ask her $ for my topping up of ez link card... i din ask her $ for my lunch and dinner... i din ask for $$ for my shopping.. i myself need to pay my own phone bill while my sister doesn't .... everything was spend using my hard earned $$.. i gave my parents $ no matter how little my pay was.. i am now struggling and juggling with money matters..Mother's Day is coming..i even gave up my PSP dream in order to buy her a nice jade pendant.. (its a secret.. she wont read my blog.. so i'll write it) ..


its really sad when she starts her unreasonable arguments.. saying i keep asking her money nowadays which I DIDN'T ... seriously ... she did give me money for my break while working.. $10 to $6 to $4 to now.. NONE.. but i dun blame her for this.. i just ask for her to understand how i feel.. u know how many days have i not chat with her bout my problems?? like months and months ... but when she has her problem she spill the beans and always "assumed " that i should listen... when comes to my turn... my problems often got ignored.. or she replied in a very "not-my-business" manner.. and now. i either tell my story (some of it) to Christina and ah da they all... if not.. i try to silent the problem to myself if is not serious.. seesh ... she says US behind our back.. we are family can? she says EVERY ONE'S bad like we are normal friends liddat ... i seldom say such a things unless i got damn damn damn damn pissed off.. but u .. u are seriously going overboard.. saying EVERY family members in our house (except Rachel) bad things.. what a "good" family culture u have .. disappointed ar..

just like my blog song :"where did i go wrong?? "

omgosh i love this song.. anyone has it send? send me pls i will love you forever =.=


until then
jingxuan